Watch Dr. Kanner guide parents through this important topic this Monday, March 31st at 8:15am on Fox6 News In The Morning.
Background: With a study released this past month indicating that one in four teenage girls in the Unites States has been diagnosed with an STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease), much alarm has been created for both adolescents and parents alike. Unfortunately, like many unfortunate circumstances, a crisis must sometimes occur to motivate change, but the advent of such a statistic suggests that many teenagers are being placed into situations that may be too overwhelming for them to self-manage.
Whether the underlying cause is a lack of formal sex education warning adolescents of the risks of unprotected sex, to the influences of hyper-sexuality through the mediums of television, magazines, and popular reality shows, peer pressure, and the possible lack of adequate parental discussions and supervision, an obvious wake-up call has been created by the release of this study.
However, despite the concerns that this study has created in the adolescent culture, expecting them to self-manage themselves without the assistance of parents, teachers, and health care professionals, is not possible. As a society therefore, we need to do a better job in the areas of education and protection of our adolescent children.
From an educational point of view, health and sex education needs to be introduced by at least middle school or 6th grade. Educating pre-adolescents about their maturing bodies, minds, and accompanying normal feelings, such as sexuality, helps them feel “normal” and curbs inappropriate behaviors when “reality” factors, such as STDs are explained and considered. Many have objected to this concept for a fear that such education will "promote" sexual behavior, but the truth is that important education actually helps children and adolescents better control themselves and lessen anxiety through insight and offers a balance to peer pressure. Many education budget cuts have pushed "health and sex education" later in the school schedules, often too late to prevent a crisis such as an STD.
From a societal point of view, we need to do a better job of de-sexualizing culture and promoting other aspects of life such as creativity, intellectual pursuits, art, sciences, health, and human interests. Adolescents, in particular are in a hurry to be autonomous and become "adults" and frequently try to follow in the footsteps of what is being represented as "adult-like". Vanity, make-overs, crash diets, dating shows, all place undue pressure on the adolescent mind that they have to be more than themselves to become accepted and wanted by the opposite sex. For many adolescent girls, they worry that if they are not "thin enough", "pretty enough", or even "sexy enough", they will not be chosen by a boy. These are dangerous messages that are being communicated to both boys and girls.
From a parental position, families need to both educate and further protect their children from the influences of culture and hormones. Many parents are uncomfortable talking to their children about sex and rely on formal education to provide important information to their child, but again, it may be insufficient or too late. Here, I always suggest that the parent of the same sex of the pre-adolescent and adolescent be the one who has these types of frank discussions with their developing child. Here, both moms and dads need to do their homework about what is important to talk about with their children and be clear with the message they want to convey. For example, parents who can normalize feelings, such as sexuality, but also clarify risks and place appropriate limits, tend to produce children who better mange themselves and stay out of trouble. Parents need to emphasize the respect of boys towards girls and vice versa. It is annoying to hear some fathers of sons boast about “not having to worry about having a daughter”, and further encouraging their sons to “go after girls”, negating the all important discussions about respecting girls and their feelings.
Aside from each parent taking responsibility for helping in the education of their son or daughters, fathers are particularly helpful with both sexes in this task. Whereas fathers should discuss sexuality and respect for girls and women with their sons, it is also important for fathers to serve as “protectors” of their daughters in reference to helping their daughters better understand boys and also help them manage social and dating scenarios with protection and education being the goal. No need to buy a gun, for the power of words, wisdom, and paternal love is really all that is needed.
Collectively, if as a society we can provide such essential information and guidance for today’s adolescents, STDs and other health and psychological issues can be better managed, or even avoided.
Key Points:1. Health & sex education needs to be introduced during or even before middle school.
2. Society needs to de-sexualize culture and promote other aspects of life such as compassion.
3. Parents need to do their own education and protect their own children.
4. Fathers are particularly important in both the education and protection of both their sons and daughters.
Dr. Keith Kanner
Host
Your Family Matters Show
Fox6 News – San Diego
San Diego Living Show